


So Let Go of the World You Know

by Lilrosebuds



Category: Hermitcraft RPF, Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, CHAT IS CANON, Creeper Hybrid Sam | Awesamdude, Dreamon, Goat Hybrid Toby Smith | Tubbo, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Protective Sam | Awesamdude, Toby Smith | Tubbo Needs a Hug, Villain Tommyinnit (Video Blogging RPF), sam is a big brother now
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-27
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-13 04:26:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29022684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lilrosebuds/pseuds/Lilrosebuds
Summary: "There's nothing keeping me here, not anymore."After being betrayed by Tommy and almost dying Tubbo realizes that there is no reason to stay anymore. With an offer from Awesamdude to join HermitCraft and get away from it all, Tubbo is whisked away to a world where he can heal. A world where there is nothing stopping Tubbo from being himself again.(Slight TW in the later chapters)
Relationships: Sam | Awesamdude & Toby Smith | Tubbo
Comments: 48
Kudos: 230





	1. How Can it Be, Starting Over

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fic title from The Great Unknown by Jukebox the Ghost.
> 
> Chapter title from Girl by Jukebox the Ghost.

Tubbo_ stared at Sam in shock. His thoughts started to turn to the prospect of leaving before the weight on the country came back over his shoulders. He sighed and looked into Sam’s eyes. “I just… I can’t, Sam. I can’t just leave L’manberg.”

Sam’s tall stature seemed to slump as he stared at Tubbo_’s face. “Tubbo you have to understand. I don’t feel comfortable with you being here.” Tubbo_ wasn’t sure if that sentence was out of pity, out of worry, or something else, but he stared down Sam anyway.

“Why do you care? No one else has and no one else needs to!” Which was true, no one cared when Tubbo_ was shot and killed and no one cared that a teenager had been given control of an entire nation. Tubbo_ felt sick at his thoughts as he thought back to when he was a kid. When he was abandoned and left alone only to be taken in by Philza. Philza was an amazing father to his kids, but Tubbo_ was not a part of that group. He lived with them because of the goodness of Phil’s heart and only stayed because of Tommy. 'I do that lot', Tubbo_ noticed, 'only staying because of Tommy'. He quickly shook himself from those thoughts.

“Tubbo just think about it. While you have been here you have been a part of six wars. Six! Tubbo! I know people who have never had to worry about war and you’ve lived through six of them! Not to mention you have lost lives Tubbo! At least in HermitCraft, you’d-.” Sam seemed to be pleading now, though for whatever reason Tubbo_ didn’t know or care. The mention of the wars had caused Tubbo_ to become annoyed and he snapped at the hybrid, effectively cutting him off.

“Oh HermitCraft, Hermitcraft. Sam, I am the president of the land that I fought for. No matter how much I want to take a break, I have to stay. This is the nation that Tommy and I fought for… Sam… I appreciate the thought but I have to stay.

“Now I need to get to the festival. Goodbye Sam.” 

He straightened his tie, a nervous gesture he had somehow picked up from Schlatt and was none too happy about, and started to walk towards L’manberg. He saw Ghostbur with Friend up ahead and was about to catch up with them when he looked back at Sam who was still standing in the same spot Tubbo_ had left him. 

“And… thanks for worrying. People don't do that anymore.” Sam looked even sadder at this news but Tubbo_ just ran to Ghostbur and Friend who had stopped when they saw him coming near.

“Oh, hello Tubbo_,” came Ghostbur’s echoing trill. “Awesamdude looks sad. Do you think he’d want some blue?” Ghostbur was about to turn back to Sam but Tubbo_ caught him by the sleeve, a shiver running through his spine at it.

“No, Ghostbur. He’s fine, he’s just excited about the festival. Speaking of which: why are you and Friend walking to Lmanberg already? The festival doesn’t start yet?” Tubbo_ asked, effectively pulling the ghost’s attention away from the hybrid.

Ghostbur didn’t seem to notice as he blabbered on about Phil watching Friend for him and how excited he was for the festival. He didn’t seem to remember the Manberg festival and Tubbo_ wasn’t sure why that made his burns seem to sting all the more. 

He stopped suddenly and waved Ghostbur to keep walking. Which he happily did after handing Tubbo_ some blue with a rare knowing look on his usually dazed face. Ghostbur started walking again, now talking to Friend about the shade of green grass and how it was funny that to get that color you would need blue.

Tubbo_ had stopped at the bench near Tommy’s old house. He sat down and remembered everything that Tommy and he had done here. From just being the kids of the server and pulling pranks to being a president and an exile. He sighed and leaned forward hiding his mouth in his fists. 'Tommy and I', Tubbo_ thought, 'we’ve both changed and maybe it wasn’t for the good.' He could have stayed there for hours longer but an angry message from Dream telling him to join a call cut through his thoughts.

A sliver of dread shot through as he saw messages asking where he was and that Dream was putting the walls back up startled him to his feet as he ran to the community house.

* * *

“The discs Tubbo_, the discs are worth more than you ever were!”, Tommy seethed.

The day had gone by quickly, but for it to end with Tommy- Tommy, his best friend, shouting that at him, ruined whatever calm mask he had managed to make.

“Tommy, please! You don’t… You don’t mean that!” His hand shook as they held his ax, his eyes began to tear up but he didn’t wipe them away. He froze and stared at Tommy’s face looking, searching for any sign of regret.

“No Tubbo_, I mean that from the bottom of my heart!” Tubbo_ unconsciously stopped the ax from cutting his head with his own, his thoughts keeping him from the moment. 

“You- This land, this nation, that I gave my lives for, betrayed me! I have been treated lower than dirt by the very people you rule over! Maybe Techno was right… Maybe government is the evil and you- You are the head of it!” Tubbo_ shock kept him from blocking the next swing. The only thing that kept him alive was the arms that grabbed him and drew him back and away from Tommy. An outraged shriek made Tubbo_ flinch as he tried to go back to Tommy, to calm down his best friend.

“Tommy- please. I don’t… please...” He struggled in the arms, trying to go back to Tommy. To find that Tommy hadn’t meant it, that he wasn’t thinking when he said that. It was in the height of the moment and all that, but the arms that kept him in place did not loosen their hold.

“Tubbo! We have to leave, now! Please Tubbo it isn’t safe.” A familiar voice reached his ears as he finally noticed Sam was the owner of the arms and the person dragging him away.

“Sam, he- I don’t-Sam! Something is wrong with Tommy he- he...” Tubbo_ continued to struggle as they got farther away from the community house. He heard sounds of explosions which shook him to his core as he cut himself off, losing his breath.

“Tubbo, look at me! He is not your Tommy! He- Tubbo please listen to me: You cannot go back to someone who tried to hurt you. Tommy? He is not the person you grew up with! He is not your best friend! Best friends wouldn’t try to kill each other! He may have been your friend once but he isn't anymore.” Hands, cold and slightly scaled, were on his cheeks, as Tubbo_ looked up into Sam’s eyes.

“I just-please I can’t please-”, denial ran through his core that slowly turned to sadness and the words finally took a hold of him. 'Tommy tried to kill me', Tubbo_ shuddered, 'and he’s teaming with Techno who has.'

“Tubbo, people are leaving the SMP. Ranboo, Fundy, and the rest are leaving and going to different servers. Fundy is even taking Ghostbur with him to see if someone can help him. They all said they’d keep in contact but they can’t stay here anymore.” Sam’s clear voice, cut through his thoughts as Tubbo_ stared at Sam.

“What? But this is their home? Why would they leave?” Tubbo_ couldn’t understand it, Fundy had been born here and had fought for L’manberg’s freedom, same as Tubbo_ and he was leaving?

“This server? Isn’t a place someone can call home anymore.” Tubbo_ flinched at the statement that he knew was right.

“I want you to come with me to HermitCraft. I… Tubbo I think of you as my little brother. I can’t leave you here. I know I can’t make you come with me but I need to make sure that you stay safe.”

Tubbo_ started as he looked at Sam. “You think of me as a brother?”

“Yes, I’m sorry if this makes you feel uncomfortable but I do.” Tubbo_ smiled as he looked down. 'He thinks of me as a brother, not an enemy, not a friend or a coworker. A brother.'

“No! It- I’ve never had a brother before... Sam, I will come to HermitCraft with you.” Sam met Tubbo_’s tear-filled eyes and hugged him for a moment, a picture of family amidst a warzone, before drawing back.

Sam took off his mask and smiled at Tubbo_. “Tubbo it would mean the world to me if you would. In HermitCraft I promise you that you can have a good life.” The 'unlike here' was left unsaid yet those silent words were deafening. A slightly angry expression that sent chills down Tubbo_’s spine overtook Sam’s face. “That country was not right to treat you like they did. You’re a teenager! You should stress about teenager things! Not… not fighting in wars! Much less an entire country!“ Sam sits in silence with an upset look now on his face and his fists flexing as he tries to calm down.

“No country should make a teen the president. And…,” Tubbo_ sighed, dragging a hand down his face with a defeated expression, ”and I’ve never been the real president. I was the third choice and everyone knows it. I have nothing to say goodbye to.

“There is nothing keeping me here, not anymore.” Tommy had left him and the people he cared about were leaving the server as well? 'No need to say goodbye if we’ll see each other again', Tubbo_ thought as he looked at Sam.

“Are you ready to leave now? Or do you need some time?”

Tubbo_ hesitated. Did he need time? Did he need to say goodbye to his home? To the land that he gave up so much of himself for? The land that he had stopped calling his home before it had really become one? He looked around him and only then noticed that Sam had brought them to the area close to Tubbo_'s old house. His newly-finished bee farm now a crater with bees flying free in every direction. Touching Ghostbur’s blue he decided: 'No', Tubbo_ thought, 'I said my farewell to this land the same time I said my greeting'.  


He still hesitated until his chat, his ever-present audience who had been silent till now, silent in his pain and his indecisiveness, an unusually nice sentiment compared to his usual chaotic chat, rose to the forefront of his mind. 

There are a thousand voices saying, “The time is now”, and with that in thought, he looks at Sam and pulls out his communicator.

Tubbo_ has left the server.  
awesamdude has left the server.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed the first chapter! If you noticed the inconsistencies of Tubbo's name, have no fear for there is a method to my madness and a madness to my method!


	2. Calm Before the Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tubbo and Sam go to the World Hub on their way to HermitCraft.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kind of a filler, but Chekov's Gun is a thing I stand by. Also, more of an intro to chat!

The World Hub was a place hard to forget yet as Tubbo_ looked over the Hub it felt as though it was his first time seeing it. The sight of the bustling people going on their way was a view that was ever-changing.

The World Hub was a place of limbo between servers and was usually filled with those wanting to join a server, create a server, or purchase downloads and plugins. Tubbo_ could see the badly-hidden hallway leading to the hack client vendors that he a̶n̶d̶ T̶o̶m̶m̶y̶ so often frequented before they joined Dream’s server. 

‘Hacks’  
‘Tubbo Hacks’  
‘Hacker Tubbo Pog’  
‘BoneZone’ 

Chat was going crazy at that thought and Tubbo_ had to force himself to focus on the world around him rather than the racing voices. He shook his head to quiet the voices. 

Tubbo_ turned around as Sam got a message from his communicator. “We have a bit of time to kill before we have to go on HermitCraft. You need new clothes so let's go there first.” 

They made a strange pair, a 7’4” masked man next to a teen in a ruined suit with burn scars on his cheek and poking out from beneath his collar. Tubbo_ didn’t care for them but there wasn’t an easy way to hide them.

They walked to a clothing store called ‘Minecraft Skins.’ and Sam sat in a chair as Tubbo_ browsed. Ignoring the yelled suggestions of his chat he grabbed clothes that looked comfortable and changed out of his suit. 

The outfit was almost the exact same outfit as the one he wore for Halloween MCC so chat was happy. It wasn’t the easiest to move in but it was better than a ratty suit. He walked back to Sam and looked at the com he was using. 

“Sam?”, a gentle hum was his only response as Sam was typing away at his communicator. “Can I- I mean do you think that-.” Taking a deep breath and fiddling with the overall straps he closed his eyes as he tried to calm down. ‘It’s a simple request and I can pay for it myself’, thought Tubbo_, ‘I was a President! I know how to talk’. 

Releasing his breath and opening his eyes he looked at Sam’s masked face, he had turned to look at Tubbo_ when he heard his nervous tone.”Can I get a new com?”

He held up his communicator for Sam to see. It was one issued by Dream when he first joined. It was a clunky-gray rectangle with barely any life left in the dim screen, it had burns and cracks through the base and had ‘DREAM SMP’ in bold letters on the back. 

The only colour on it was the peeling stickers of bees that Tubbo_ had added when he first received the new com. Such a childlike action and obviously in an attempt to brighten the otherwise dark looking device. 

To any onlooker, the com would have been the saddest sight, but Tubbo_ just wanted the memories that came with the com gone.

“I can pay for it! I still have credits from when I was playing Hypixel. I don’t remember how much but there are still some-” Sam raised a hand to stop Tubbo_’s ramble and despite his best abilities, Tubbo_ flinched. He tried to play it off as though nothing had happened but Sam’s quickly retracted hand told him he had failed. 

Sam seemed to hesitate before talking normally, something Tubbo_ was grateful for, “No, no, no Tubbo. I’ll pay for it myself. I know a place that’ll add the contacts back on instantly.” Tubbo_ tried to argue but Sam seemed to hear none of it. 

His laughter soon started as he listened to Tubbo_‘s rambled disagreements as they walked. His glances back to make sure Tubbo_ was not getting pulled away in the flow of traffic made Tubbo_ want to smile himself. 

As they were walking through a large crowd Tubbo_ got turned around and lost Sam in the surge of people leaving a seemingly now-closed server. Tubbo_ felt panic fill his chest as people pushed past him and the shouts and voices of people all around soon overtook his senses. His new outfit felt too hot and restricting as he stood frozen in the middle of a walkway. It was too loud. It was too hot. And Tubbo_ couldn’t breathe. 

A hand on his shoulder only furthered his panic as he whipped around throwing the hand off. A still figure kneeling in front of him was soon his main focus. A point of stability in the bustling crowd. His eyes focused as he looked at Sam’s face. He seemed to be talking but Tubbo_ couldn’t hear him over the rushing sound in his ears. The message he was trying to share, however, was clear: Breathe.

Tubbo_ sucked in the cool air as he felt himself calm down. He stumbled over to Sam and rested his flushed forehead on Sam’s shoulder. After some time, Tubbo_ couldn’t seem to think of how long, he looked up and saw that the crowd, though thinned, seemed to be parting around the duo. A river around a rock.

Tubbo_ pulled back as he saw why. Sam had taken his mask off as he was trying to get Tubbo_ to calm down showing his slightly scaled face, the mark proving him to not be fully human. His anonymity among the other players now gone. 

He was tempted to touch the scales, the proof that hybrids weren’t bad was right in front of him yet his own horns, hidden from the world, hidden from himself, were buried beneath his blond hair. A forever reminder of the actions of that now-deceased President. 

“Are you alright, Tubbo?” Sam looked concerned and even amidst the excited chatter of the voices both in his head and around the two of them Tubbo_ felt strange at the look.

Tubbo_ opened his mouth to say that he was but his thoughts were not with him as he blurted out, “Chat’s calling you Handsam. They like your green hair.” 

“Oh well thank you chat.”

Tubbo_ had told Sam that he had voices in his head but Tubbo_ wasn’t sure that Sam believed him. Chat appreciated the acknowledgement either way so Tubbo_ just left them to their ‘Face reveal Pog’s.

With his thoughts now calmed he and Sam started walking back towards the aforementioned shop.

As they were walking, now mostly lost amongst the crowd Tubbo_ realized he had never asked Sam his connection to HermitCraft. He turned to Sam and asked, “How were you invited to HermitCraft anyways?” 

“Tubbo, it’s obvious: I am just cracked at the Craft.” Tubbo_ started laughing next to him. “In all seriousness, I’m friends with Mumbo Jumbo and he put in a good word.” That made Tubbo_ stop in his tracks.

Running to catch up he turned breathlessly to Sam, “The Mumbo Jumbo? You know the Mumbo Jumbo?” Sam just laughed as Tubbo_ stared at him. “Why didn’t you tell me you knew famous Minecrafters?” 

Sam was about to respond when a shout was heard from a couple of blocks in front of them. They both turned and saw a vendor waving frantically at Sam’s imposing figure. Sam walked over to the masked man. He’s the communicator seller, thought Tubbo_ as he joined the talking duo.

“and this is Tubbo! He's the one who needs the com. You have any in stock?”

"For you, my friend, of course! I have all colours of the newest release. I'll even enchant the com if the price is good. Take your pick."

Tubbo_ looked down in shock as the table in front of him seemed to open up showing an assortment of coms in all colours. The coms were a lot smaller than his gray block and looked like they could strap to the wrist instead of in a pocket or strapped to a leg.

He looked between a soft green com and a black com. The black com is easier to hide but the green- Sam grabbed the green com and gave it to the masked vendor. 

"Add black stripes and enchant it with max efficiency." Waving off Tubbo_'s comments he handed over credits to pay for the object.

"Do you have any contacts you want added?" With a nod, Tubbo_ handed his com over, purposely ignoring the man’s shock at seeing the old and broken com. 

"Everyone in the contacts, even those muted if you would." Sam had blocked Tommy after he spammed his personal messages, but Tubbo_ couldn’t bring himself to do that on his own com just yet. He had decided to mute the remaining Dream SMP members, but he thought keeping them in his contacts could be useful.

As the man turned the com over to grab the memory crystal he saw the bold letters and froze. Everyone had heard about the SMP that the Dream had made, but no one really knew who was on it or what was happening on the server.

Sam leaned onto the table and looked down on the vendor, taking his mask off and smiling, showing his green scaled cheeks. "Let’s keep this between us, yeah?" The vendor gulped and quickly finished with the com and handed it over. 

"Sam, that was so cool! Thank you so much!" Sam just laughed and gave him the com.

Tubbo_ stared in shock as he felt the enchantments. "Sam? Did you just intimidate a business owner into giving this max unbreaking and mending?" 

"What do you mean? I just asked for efficiency?" 

" Well, my com has Unbreaking 3, Mending 1, and Efficiency 5."

Sam froze, "You can read enchantments?" Tubbo_ nodded confused. "Where did you learn?"

"Hypixel? And during the first rebellion. I was the one mainly enchanting the armor." Sam let out a shocked laugh. 

"Tubbo, that's a rare skill." 

"Is it? Maybe that's why Dream let me have my villagers. Since he would have me look over everyone's enchantments."

"Did he?" Letting out a humorless laugh he shook his head, "Huh, anyways! We should head back over to the server portals."

That got Tubbo's attention. He felt excited at the thought of meeting the players that he looked up to. He and Sam walk to the log in desk with a dazed-looking villager who didn’t acknowledge their approach. 

“Um, hello? We’d like to enter into a multiplayer server?” The villager made a soft ‘hrmmm’ and let them through the door of their right. Sam gave an emerald to the villager as they passed and they walked towards two empty LAN portals.

Sam added the details into Tubbo_’s portal’s holopad before inputting it into his own. 

“Add a fun name!” Tubbo listened to his chat’s suggestions before writing down his own: ‘The Hermit Bois’.

"And you're sure that we're both whitelisted?"

"Yes, yes Tubbo. We're both invited, whitelisted, and expected! And there we go!"

The portal flashed silver and gold before going back to the deep purple. He and Sam stepped through and with swirled vision were both dragged away to HermitCraft.


End file.
